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Out of the office
By Chris Strunk
Last Updated: August 20, 2015

Tough to say goodbye to your kid

I didn't think it would be this difficult.

We took our oldest son to college over the weekend, dropping him off Aug. 15 for his freshman year at Barton Community College in Great Bend.

As we were leaving his dorm room to go to Walmart in search of a couple of pillows, which he forgot to pack, my wife got tears in her eyes and got a big hug from Ray.

I got sad on the drive back to Valley Center.

We still have two kids at home, but everything is so different now. I keep expecting Ray to come home. I keep thinking I'll hear a knock on our bedroom door late at night. It's Ray, letting us know he made it home safely.

Just like always.

I'm sure I'll see his car in the driveway.

Every time I drive by the courts at the intermediate school, I expect to see him and his friend (now roommate) Triston Herbst playing tennis.

Those days are over, I'm afraid.

"Hey," he texted me the other night about 11:15 p.m.

He knows I sometimes stay up late to watch Sports Center.

"Hey," I answered. "How was your day?"

Part of me hoped to hear that he missed us badly and his day was terrible. Another part of me wanted to hear that everything was fine and he was enjoying his new home.

I didn't expect to read his next words.

"Pretty great," he said. "Yours?"

"Pretty great?" Not really what I wanted to hear.

I asked him what he did.

"Pretty eventful, actually," he texted, adding a couple of texts worth of stuff.

Mind you, classes hadn't started yet. College life without classes is pretty awesome, as I recall.

I told him we missed him and were praying for him every day.

As difficult as it is right now, I know others have survived similar situations.

I got to thinking about Bart and Jean Balthazor, here in Valley Center. For the first time, all five of their kids will be in college at the same time this fall. Only one of them is still living in Valley Center.

Warren, the oldest, is a senior at Wichita State University and will finish a degree in engineering technology management in the spring.

Elliott moved to Manhattan Aug. 16 and will be a junior at K-State majoring in mechanical engineering.

Claire, the only daughter, graduated from Wichita State University last December and moved to Topeka Aug. 8 to begin her nursing degree at Washburn.

Miles, who graduated from VCHS two years ago, returned to Kansas Wesleyan in Salina earlier this month. He's on the football team and is majoring in biomedical chemistry.

And then there's Evan, who is my son Ray's age. Evan started his college career this fall at K-State. He's majoring in chemical engineering.

Bart said having the youngest child leave home was unsettling.

"It got quite real all of a sudden," he said.

Bart said they are adjusting to life without having all of their kids at home.

"We have to figure out how to shop," he said. "We don't need four gallons of milk at a time anymore."

Adjustments will come hard around our house. But I guess we'll figure it out and cope with all the changes.

Sometimes I feel like Oskar Schindler on "Schindler's List," who lamented that he wished he could have done more to save Jewish prisoners from the Nazi prison camps during World War II.

I know I could have done more to prepare Ray for this chapter in his life. I also regret the times I got mad at him for doing aggravating teenager stuff — like forgetting to bring a pillow to college.

He'll be OK, I'm sure, despite all of my shortcomings as a parent.

"We're just missing you," I texted him. "We all are. … Talk to you later."

"Miss you guys!" he responded. "Goodnight."

Chris Strunk is publisher of The Ark Valley News. Reach him at 755-0821, news@arkvalleynews.com or on Facebook.




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